The Fear Behind the Smiles

What's All This Business About a Vampire Tadpole?

I went to the doctor and got these vitamins complete with fish oil gelcaps. Luckily the blue pills are chewable, and they don't taste too bad at all.

Mostly what I'm indicating in this picture is the insane overpackaging of these vitamins. These came one blister pack per box- yes, there was even a cardboard box on top of it. To quote my nephew, "I was like WHAT?!"

For those who have friended me on Facebook and follow my wacky hijinks (thanks! :) ), you may have noticed mention of the vampire tadpole's immenent arrival.

In fact, here's the exact status update: "The vampire tadpole has been sighted. Expect world dominance by December and bow before it!"

So aside from following the whims of something that doesn't even have a brain yet, I've been thinking.... We are at our most powerful when we're mere cells in the womb. We have pure dominance over the woman carrying us, and thus have dominance over those she holds sway over.

One example is my sudden love of breakfast foods. I went from being an advocate for sleeping til noon and skipping breakfast entirely to checking out the Breakfast Anytime! sections of various eating establishments. Fried eggs and toast seem downright heavenly, and orange juice has become something we keep in supply. Pancakes even look good practically anytime where I rarely used to eat them.

More details on the vampire tadpole to come. In the meantime, I need to go eat something.

News and Such.... aka Condoms Are Not Condiments

Floating in the etherverse, there's always a few interesting videos that occasionally make me giggle. One such video played like a latex-clad sex ed science class and featured a condom on a corn dog. Awesomesauce. High school was never that entertaining for me.

Other than stumbling across various YouTube insanity and my borderline Hulu and Adult Swim addictions, I've been jumping back on the writing horse. Pictured here is the stuff of my research (yes, even when writing something as trivial as a horror novel, I do actually do some research - be it to visit the places/live in the places I write about or research the history of places for setting and ambiance).

Note the cup of coffee and small stack of books. While gathering research I came across a book titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. How could I go wrong with that? I thought to myself. I was not disappointed. If you dig history, it's a great book. The vampires are more peripheral causes of the action, rather than main characters, which was refreshing.

I also finished reading The Amityville Horror and Nice Girls Don't Live Forever. Broke down and bought a Kindle to spare my poor sagging bookshelves. My plan is to buy antique books and first edition prints from now on, and all the rest can be electronic unless I adore them enough to want to sniff the pages.

Taking a break from the horror/vampire kick I returned to another genre love: noir detective story. The Silent Hour by Michael Koryta is an awesome read so far. Mystery, murder, and mobsters. Sounds catchy, right? And just to keep one foot planted squarely in my stereotype, I'm also reading Death Masks (aka Book 5 of The Dresden Files) by Jim Butcher. LOVE that series. Can't wait for the new book in April or the collection of stories due out around Halloween.

In music land, I've been digging Dixieland, old jazz, and a band called Rome (the gothic folk band, not the rap one if browsing iTunes). A few tried and true fave bands have released some new albums, so have Frontline Assembly, SITD, and Combichrist on a loop.

For 2011, I'm working on some humor projects. Dark humor, but humor nonetheless. Also working on the historical project, too. And.... if all goes according to plan, there may even be a graphic novel in the works. Stay tuned....

'Back in My Day' and Other BS Spewed by the Pharmaceuticaled Masses

Admittedly, when I made the comment/post of 'Back in my day, vampire novels had vampires in them' I meant it as a joke... sort of. With the mudslide success of Twilight and all kinds of nonsense spewed forth by the mainstream media, it's actually kind of hard for me to get my vampire fix. Yes, I'm reading the Sookie Stackhouse series, and yes, I'm watching True Blood AND The Gates, but I'm left feeling empty and vaguely disappointed. I mean, where's the FEAR? These people are sleeping with a giant parasite, a potentially violent parasite, and yet there's less of a shrieking terror and more of an 'oh n0es!' surrounding it all.

A quick check of my collection of vampire fiction left me a little more sane-feeling. Historically, vampires were not pretty. There was nothing sexy about them, and they certainly didn't glitter, shimmer or shine. These were blood-sucking resurrected corpses, afterall. The lamia of ancient Greece was a blend of various animals with the torso of a woman (gotta get boobs in there, natch). She went around killing babies. Granted, the story behind this monster is a sad one, as often happens with ancient Greco-Roman myths. And usually there's some poor sot getting tormented and abused by the gods just before dying a horrible death. Those were some jealous gods, and they had a knack for torment. Hats off to them.

Then there's the later vampires embodied in good ole Vlad the Impaler and his relative Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Following that there were the resurrected corpse types which usually meant Plague was around somewhere lurking. And not a pretty death by any means. The original Nosferatu film depicted an outright monster.... and then came Hollywood....

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Bela Lugosi. There was an underlying unease throughout Dracula that left you both intrigued and terrified.

So where did the vampire story go awry and transform into a fountain of youth with fangs? And a little too much oil in the T zones...

As a writer, I've come to the conclusion that I need to buck the system and go in a completely opposite direction, for those folks who are looking for real horror, or just a fun read. In other words... literature.

Amazon Author Page is Live

In one of those 'eureka' moments last week, Christian Dumais pointed out that I should create my Amazon Author's Bio page. It was like suddenly realizing I should have been wearing a coat in a snowstorm, but had been so caught up in building my snowman that I had forgotten the basics, in spite of such obvious parental warnings as pneumonia.

I think part of never having done it before now was that I always just considered myself a regular person (OK, OK, maybe I use that term in a snarky way). I'm a writer, certainly, but always assumed I needed to make X, 000, 000 book sales before Amazon put up an author page.Turns out good ole Puff Chrissy bestowed upon me a revelation: I am an actual honest to goodness author, and I deserve that Author's Bio Page on Amazon.  I just needed to jump for the golden ring.

So... kind of weird and kind of cool all at the same time... here it is, my Amazon Author's Bio Page: http://www.amazon.com/Suzi-M/e/B003TTLGP2/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1

I'm sure eventually this will all be very ho-hum, but for now, I'm merely basking in the glow of the now.

After Much Waiting.... It's Here! Cover Stories Officially Released!

What a wild ride, but it's finally done! The international anthology featuring ten writers from around the world is finally available for your ordering pleasure at the Cover Stories Official Storefront.

And for those who are in the know, happy solstice! Couldn't have planned that release better, in my opinion. :)

Thanks for the Apology Note, USPS

Today's adventure began with a squishy splat on my doorstep, right around the time the mail guy was shoving stuff through the mail slot. I had ordered a bunch of supplies, so I excitedly opened the door, then stared in confusion as the scent hit my nose.

It wasn't a bad scent, but very perfumey, and I thought I was holding a package that had a hippie dress in it. Not so!

The plastic wrapped package I soon realized was the perfume oil supplies I had ordered. The package was saturated with oils,  as was the apology note from the USPS. It basically said 'Sometimes we really mess up your stuff. Sorry about that.'

Yeah.... My supplier was very nice about it, though, and promised to send the next package extra padded. 

This is the second run-in I've had with the post office this month. And I used to so love them because it meant cool supplies were showing up. Now apparently it means I have a 50/50 chance of getting a lot of broken stuff to play with.

And I still reek like a French whore after unpacking everything today. A very nice-smelling French whore.....

Tip the Dancer...

I know I shouldn't be so attached to anything I intend to sell, however... I'm absolutely gaga (possibly even Lady GaGa) over a new yarn that I spun up and will be posting to my BizarreYarns Etsy shop called 'Tip the Dancer'. Yes, 'Tip the Dancer', shown here to the right.

It may possibly be that I'm thinking back about the days when I still very much had my Devil-may-care attitude firmly in place and would actually attend such establishments what where the dancers may or may not have been clothed. But in all seriousness, I really can't get over the beautiful mess this yarn is. It's got golden yellow mixed with black and glitter, aqua, pink, and deepest purples. I know, I know... I'm a yarn geek. I admit it.

I even listened to stripper music - well, my idea of how stripper music should sound, anyway, i.e. lots of grinding industrial beats that are just slow enough to do some awesome dips and seductive twirls - while spinning it up. It was really hard to not slap on a whole lot of black eyeliner and redder than red lipstick and go out to the nearest goth club and dance til dawn instead of spin yarn, but there you have it. And there I was, spinning yarn like a good grown up instead of partying til dawn.

Just looking at this yarn makes me giggle and want to hand it a dollar.

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Other updates in the mundane existence of an undergroundly popular writer (over 200 copies of my novels have sold to date, so thanks there, Kindle Krowd!)... well, the garden is happening. I built a retaining wall over the past week, and got a nice sunburn doing it. Today I'll be heading to Lowe's while all the good people of town are at church. Downside is we'll be hitting after-church breakfast crowd on the way home.

I also have some cool antique typewriter key jewelry posted to the Smiling Goth Etsy shop. 

So get over to the shops, buy my novels, and feel free to drop me a line. Always happy to meet a fan! Speaking of hearing from fans, met my first person who knew me by my novels while I was out shopping for fiber.

How. Friggin. Cool.

I've Been Bad....

 Instead of using my birthday weekend to update my Etsy shops and get stuff done, I did exactly the opposite. Epic win for fellow Etsians, as I splurged ALL over your shops. I think I may have bought an item from almost every Etsy shop this past week.

Mind you, the majority of my shopping spree was actually FOR my Etsy shops in way of supplies and such. I'm cool like that, and I try to keep prices in my shop as affordable as possible, since it's that kind of economy, I don't care who says it's getting better. If you're an artist in the US that isn't splashing paint for millions, then you're probably either poor or have a day job and a closet full of your art addictions. I can relate, totally.

So in an effort to support my fellow artists/Etsians, and keep my stash of fiber and jewelry-making supplies well-stocked with choices and various color palettes, I splurged. There was one purchase I made for me, though, as a happy birthday, and that was a little leather journal necklace and two leather journals from the Artreasury. I had been coveting both shops' wares for some time, and finally found a reason to break out the cash. 

For those who have yet to take the handmade plunge, it's something I highly recommend. We're out of the plaster hands and paste-dripping paper plates zone here, and the stuff posted to Etsy - the majority of it, anyway - is fantastic. Many shops will even do custom orders, so you get a truly unique gift at a usually decent price.

I also got a skein of INSANELY bright purple yarn to make socks for my mother. She's going to love it. I can just tell. If not, I'll distract her with the purple wind-up pinwheel pen I got her.

Sometimes, It's the Little Things...

In an effort to recapture my childhood, I began a quest over a year ago to find out the name of - if not the actual THING itself - a Colorforms set I had when I was a kid. I remember it being hours of endless mystery and fun. A couple of months ago, I entered a search string into the ole interwebs asking for a Mickey Mouse Disco Funhouse Colorforms set. I couldn't remember the exact name of it, I just remember there was a very disco feel to it.

And finally a name: Mickey Mouse Magic Glow Funhouse Colorforms. And the search began again. First, for people who had once owned it, and second to find a replacement set for my inner child.

As you can see from the above picture, I found a set. Thank you, eBay, for allowing me to become one of the masses that has managed to reclaim a bit of their childhood.

For the pop culture curious, this Colorforms set was released in 1978, and features translucent areas that, when lit from behind, allow a hidden image to show through. The Lonesome Ghosts wander the floors and slide down the straw, the jukebox lights up, Mickey gets kissed by Minnie and blushes.

The set also stands on its own, with some handy flaps along the sides that extend the club scene.

All in all, the coolest Colorforms set EVER. :)

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In knitting news... Been playing with this blueberry lace pattern for scarf-making.

I had spun up some black alpaca yarn a while back. At the time it hadn't been enough to do a lot with, and it was a single play lace weight. I didn't think it was quite up to par to post on my Etsy shop, so I decided to destash and actually make something with it. I added some Czech glass beads to the initial lace pattern, then improvised the rest. 

It came out really cool. So cool, in fact, that my mother-in-law asked me to make her one with red beads for her birthday. I was out of the handspun alpaca, so I used some Elann Peruvian Baby Cashmere instead. It's coming along awesomely.

Holidays Approacheth...

Super top secret anthology stuff moves forward smoothly. Will start to record audio segments for the audio version as soon as the dust settles from the kitchen remodel and travel insanity.

So far I'm looking at travel to Philly twice in a matter of days. Decided to stay with the Wenchling and Adamantium for the weekend instead of going back and forth between central and eastern PA. Two birds and such.

Movie stuff also moves forward. I'll be meeting with the producer over Thanksgiving to go over details and to meet face to face. Very excited to start on that project.

Research and outlining for the next story, possible novel, continues. Have fragments sprawled across the art room that I really need to clean up and get consolidated. Maybe in the near future.

Etsy sales are picking up now that the holidays are here, and now that word is spreading about my shops. Smiling Goth Shop features all kinds of fun unique jewelry, ranging from neo-victorian to gothic and steampunk. All pieces are of good quality and most important: affordable! I refuse to jack up my prices. Instead I've looked for bargains, and passed the cost-effectiveness on to my customers. If I can find an antique pocket watch relatively cheap to use in a piece of jewelry, why would I want to charge over $100 for it? OK, yes, lots of profit, sure, but I'm not greedy.

Sales at Bizarre Yarns are also on the rise. There's some new yarn and some new holiday stitch markers as well. There's also a sale going on, with some fun contests and giveaways, so be sure to check it out.

There's also some awesome stuff available at the Cinnamon Zen Shop. There's all natural, dye-free soy wax candles scented with 100% natural essential oils, 100% natural perfume oils, and high-end jewelry made with precious metals.

Want something totally unique for that unique special someone in your life or on your shopping list? Feel free to contact me at any of the above-listed shops and let me know what you'd like. I'll make it for you! :)

Also, don't forget the vampire lover on your list! There's still time to order a copy of the Immortal War Series at the Smiling Goth Bookstore.