The Fear Behind the Smiles

What's All This Business About a Vampire Tadpole?

I went to the doctor and got these vitamins complete with fish oil gelcaps. Luckily the blue pills are chewable, and they don't taste too bad at all.

Mostly what I'm indicating in this picture is the insane overpackaging of these vitamins. These came one blister pack per box- yes, there was even a cardboard box on top of it. To quote my nephew, "I was like WHAT?!"

For those who have friended me on Facebook and follow my wacky hijinks (thanks! :) ), you may have noticed mention of the vampire tadpole's immenent arrival.

In fact, here's the exact status update: "The vampire tadpole has been sighted. Expect world dominance by December and bow before it!"

So aside from following the whims of something that doesn't even have a brain yet, I've been thinking.... We are at our most powerful when we're mere cells in the womb. We have pure dominance over the woman carrying us, and thus have dominance over those she holds sway over.

One example is my sudden love of breakfast foods. I went from being an advocate for sleeping til noon and skipping breakfast entirely to checking out the Breakfast Anytime! sections of various eating establishments. Fried eggs and toast seem downright heavenly, and orange juice has become something we keep in supply. Pancakes even look good practically anytime where I rarely used to eat them.

More details on the vampire tadpole to come. In the meantime, I need to go eat something.

The Story Behind "Home for X-Mas"

When Derek Handley initially contacted us of the Cover Stories gang to write a holiday euphiction I admit that I considered claiming flu-like symptoms and hiding under the bed til the holiday season had passed. I'm not big on holidays unless it's Halloween.

The thing is, I like Derek. I consider him a pretty close electric friend, in fact. He has this way about him that just makes you want to say 'yes' to his ideas and then make them happen 150%. So I said yes, and I gave it 150%. My first ever holiday piece.

Being that I'm me, the Hallmark special based on my story 'Home for X-Mas' will most likely not happen anywhere in the future. For the record, it ended much happier for Saint Nick than my initial story concept.

The idea came as many of my ideas come: late at night, and usually when I'm just about to fall asleep. I could see the end of the story, and it was bleak. Very clearly I could see a cozy living room, very Donna Reed decor. Everything was perfect in this Norman Rockwell living room. Too perfect. It was unsettling, and the old  Victrola was playing a warped record with the song 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' playing over and over again in a scratchy but endearingly hair-raising kind of way. On initial inspection I couldn't see a damned thing wrong with the room. The kids wore their footie pajamas and set out a picture perfect plate of cookies while mom sat on dad's lap and they kissed under a held sprig of mistletoe. Picture. Perfect.

It struck me as sad that I distrusted this happy family and scene so much instead of embracing it as an ideal to aspire to, but again there was something wrong. I just hadn't figured out what it was yet.

That's when I looked in the fireplace. Amidst the happily crackling flames that the children played near I made out the charred remains of red fabric spread over the logs. Gaping holes dotted the back of the garment where flames had burned their way through, and the white trim was blackened in the embers. All that was left of the belt was the smoke-damaged glint of a buckle attached to what looked like a mummified snake.

I glanced up at the family in a sort of horrified daze. The kids were oblivious to the implications of that charred red suit. Perhaps they hadn't even noticed it. The parents... they smirked knowingly at me, and the father raised a snifter of brandy as if toasting my detective work.

The pen couldn't write fast enough to get it all down as the story unfolded around me. I could see this very dark tale of horror, and then I stopped writing. I stared at the pages and
hated myself. How could I kill Santa Claus? Even worse, how could I kill off Santa knowing full well that my mother still believes in him?

I put the pen back to the page and began to cross out certain things, add certain other things, and created a much more light-hearted story than what I had started.

And now, for your reading pleasure, I present to you.....

Home for X-Mas: A Holiday Tale of Dysfunction 

Writing by the Light of a MacBook and Candles

The pic at the right has nothing to do with the obsession du cette nuit, but I thought I would share, nonetheless. It was my avatar's Halloween costume at the virtual night club I run in Second Life called The Hanging Cages. This year I went as Lilith from my own novels. And yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Tonight found me in the throes of a writing binge. Rather than force it away with mindless Facebooking or random surfing, I buckled down and did what any goth gal would do: I lit a ton of candles and put the band Rome on a loop. I got so caught up in the yummy scented candles and atmosphere that I kind of forgot to write. I jotted down something instead that looks much more like Enochian angelic script. I have no idea what it means, but I'm assured that it'll be a hit. Somewhere. Someday.

Tonight found me working partially on the latest project: The Nemesis Diary (a working title that I may end up changing after finding out there's a show with a name that's close to it, and I don't want the two confused for one another).

I posted some of it to my Facebook page (feel free to friend me: suzi.m.author).

'Back in My Day' and Other BS Spewed by the Pharmaceuticaled Masses

Admittedly, when I made the comment/post of 'Back in my day, vampire novels had vampires in them' I meant it as a joke... sort of. With the mudslide success of Twilight and all kinds of nonsense spewed forth by the mainstream media, it's actually kind of hard for me to get my vampire fix. Yes, I'm reading the Sookie Stackhouse series, and yes, I'm watching True Blood AND The Gates, but I'm left feeling empty and vaguely disappointed. I mean, where's the FEAR? These people are sleeping with a giant parasite, a potentially violent parasite, and yet there's less of a shrieking terror and more of an 'oh n0es!' surrounding it all.

A quick check of my collection of vampire fiction left me a little more sane-feeling. Historically, vampires were not pretty. There was nothing sexy about them, and they certainly didn't glitter, shimmer or shine. These were blood-sucking resurrected corpses, afterall. The lamia of ancient Greece was a blend of various animals with the torso of a woman (gotta get boobs in there, natch). She went around killing babies. Granted, the story behind this monster is a sad one, as often happens with ancient Greco-Roman myths. And usually there's some poor sot getting tormented and abused by the gods just before dying a horrible death. Those were some jealous gods, and they had a knack for torment. Hats off to them.

Then there's the later vampires embodied in good ole Vlad the Impaler and his relative Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Following that there were the resurrected corpse types which usually meant Plague was around somewhere lurking. And not a pretty death by any means. The original Nosferatu film depicted an outright monster.... and then came Hollywood....

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Bela Lugosi. There was an underlying unease throughout Dracula that left you both intrigued and terrified.

So where did the vampire story go awry and transform into a fountain of youth with fangs? And a little too much oil in the T zones...

As a writer, I've come to the conclusion that I need to buck the system and go in a completely opposite direction, for those folks who are looking for real horror, or just a fun read. In other words... literature.

After Much Waiting.... It's Here! Cover Stories Officially Released!

What a wild ride, but it's finally done! The international anthology featuring ten writers from around the world is finally available for your ordering pleasure at the Cover Stories Official Storefront.

And for those who are in the know, happy solstice! Couldn't have planned that release better, in my opinion. :)

Thanks for the Apology Note, USPS

Today's adventure began with a squishy splat on my doorstep, right around the time the mail guy was shoving stuff through the mail slot. I had ordered a bunch of supplies, so I excitedly opened the door, then stared in confusion as the scent hit my nose.

It wasn't a bad scent, but very perfumey, and I thought I was holding a package that had a hippie dress in it. Not so!

The plastic wrapped package I soon realized was the perfume oil supplies I had ordered. The package was saturated with oils,  as was the apology note from the USPS. It basically said 'Sometimes we really mess up your stuff. Sorry about that.'

Yeah.... My supplier was very nice about it, though, and promised to send the next package extra padded. 

This is the second run-in I've had with the post office this month. And I used to so love them because it meant cool supplies were showing up. Now apparently it means I have a 50/50 chance of getting a lot of broken stuff to play with.

And I still reek like a French whore after unpacking everything today. A very nice-smelling French whore.....

The Insomnia Monster Strikes Again, Producing Digital Men and Monsters

The night is stormy, which would usually be a great opening for an intense story somewhere out there in literati land. Sadly all it means for me is a sleepless night.

I'm definitely not afraid of a good thunderstorm. Quite the opposite. I love them. Dark and stormy nights are my bread and butter, after all.

The downside to a really good thunderstorm (or upside, depending on how optimistic I feel at the time) is that it's like sticking my finger in a socket, pure energy rush and buzzing with creativity.

I have had zero caffeine today in hopes I could sleep tonight at a normal hour. The storm rolled in around 9pm and that was it. I've been supercharged ever since.

Rather than play the woe-is-me card and mope, I decided to do something - dare I say it? - productive. The digital image you see here is made with a combination of Poser and Photoshop. The main meat and potatoes of the Big Guy's face, head and background were all done initially in Poser. Finishing touches, such as pallor, hair, eyes, and shadowing were all hand drawn in Photoshop. It's not as easy and effortless as it seems, but it is a labor of love.

I'm a regular Pygmalion when it comes to my characters. One of these days I'll have to summon up the rest of the characters into digital format. So far they only exist as the initial concept drawings, sketches, and rough paintings I did back in 1993 when I wrote the first draft of NEMESIS (aka Book 1 of the Immortal War Series).

So on this particular dark and stormy night, I'm listening to a fun and extremely eclectic mix of music from Lycia and Lady GaGa to Grendel and Fields of the Nephilim. Issues? No way. I have subscriptions and franchised newsstands for my blend of problems. I've created the digital art gracing this post, and gotten some writing done. The Moleskine has even seen some ink tonight, which will eventually find its way into a digital form of dark comedy story. 

Oh yeah, the dark comedy. Inspired by, of all things, eBay. I thought I had seen everything til I saw ghosts, djinns, and vampires bonded to jewelry and sold on the cheap in a digital marketplace. After sorting through page after page of items, I found myself wondering how the inhabitants of the jewelry/objects felt about their lot in life. Most importantly being stuck in jewelry, dolls, or in some cases even just a box, and sold at auction. And so the story was born.

Feel free to get up-to-the-damn-near-second updates on my Facebook fanpage. Feel free to post something and say hello, too. I talk to my fans because I'm a friendly sort.

Speaking of fans... got recognized by titles and storyline in my fave local yarn store a couple of weeks ago. It was my first recognition. I was so in awe I asked them for THEIR autograph. Based on the experience, I've decided to start an autograph album of people who've read my novels. To hell with famous people autographs, I want the folks who admire my work enough to say hello to me.

Feel free to join the fun on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/manage/?act=37195941#!/pages/Suzi-M/54616181082

Tip the Dancer...

I know I shouldn't be so attached to anything I intend to sell, however... I'm absolutely gaga (possibly even Lady GaGa) over a new yarn that I spun up and will be posting to my BizarreYarns Etsy shop called 'Tip the Dancer'. Yes, 'Tip the Dancer', shown here to the right.

It may possibly be that I'm thinking back about the days when I still very much had my Devil-may-care attitude firmly in place and would actually attend such establishments what where the dancers may or may not have been clothed. But in all seriousness, I really can't get over the beautiful mess this yarn is. It's got golden yellow mixed with black and glitter, aqua, pink, and deepest purples. I know, I know... I'm a yarn geek. I admit it.

I even listened to stripper music - well, my idea of how stripper music should sound, anyway, i.e. lots of grinding industrial beats that are just slow enough to do some awesome dips and seductive twirls - while spinning it up. It was really hard to not slap on a whole lot of black eyeliner and redder than red lipstick and go out to the nearest goth club and dance til dawn instead of spin yarn, but there you have it. And there I was, spinning yarn like a good grown up instead of partying til dawn.

Just looking at this yarn makes me giggle and want to hand it a dollar.

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Other updates in the mundane existence of an undergroundly popular writer (over 200 copies of my novels have sold to date, so thanks there, Kindle Krowd!)... well, the garden is happening. I built a retaining wall over the past week, and got a nice sunburn doing it. Today I'll be heading to Lowe's while all the good people of town are at church. Downside is we'll be hitting after-church breakfast crowd on the way home.

I also have some cool antique typewriter key jewelry posted to the Smiling Goth Etsy shop. 

So get over to the shops, buy my novels, and feel free to drop me a line. Always happy to meet a fan! Speaking of hearing from fans, met my first person who knew me by my novels while I was out shopping for fiber.

How. Friggin. Cool.

I've Been Bad....

 Instead of using my birthday weekend to update my Etsy shops and get stuff done, I did exactly the opposite. Epic win for fellow Etsians, as I splurged ALL over your shops. I think I may have bought an item from almost every Etsy shop this past week.

Mind you, the majority of my shopping spree was actually FOR my Etsy shops in way of supplies and such. I'm cool like that, and I try to keep prices in my shop as affordable as possible, since it's that kind of economy, I don't care who says it's getting better. If you're an artist in the US that isn't splashing paint for millions, then you're probably either poor or have a day job and a closet full of your art addictions. I can relate, totally.

So in an effort to support my fellow artists/Etsians, and keep my stash of fiber and jewelry-making supplies well-stocked with choices and various color palettes, I splurged. There was one purchase I made for me, though, as a happy birthday, and that was a little leather journal necklace and two leather journals from the Artreasury. I had been coveting both shops' wares for some time, and finally found a reason to break out the cash. 

For those who have yet to take the handmade plunge, it's something I highly recommend. We're out of the plaster hands and paste-dripping paper plates zone here, and the stuff posted to Etsy - the majority of it, anyway - is fantastic. Many shops will even do custom orders, so you get a truly unique gift at a usually decent price.

I also got a skein of INSANELY bright purple yarn to make socks for my mother. She's going to love it. I can just tell. If not, I'll distract her with the purple wind-up pinwheel pen I got her.

New shop updates on Etsy!

For those who have become fans of my work, be it on the printed page, on a canvas, entwined in metal around your body in some way, or wrapped two ply style in your latest fiber project, thank you!!!

At the Smiling Goth Shop, there's been a bunch of new stuff for both men and women to adorn their prettiness. Pictured at the left is one of two adjustable antique typewriter key rings.

There are also two new tie tacks available for the menfolks, and of course cufflinks and various other goodies.

There's also perfume oils and art. So hurry up over before someone else gets it!!

At Bizarre Yarns,  there's a bunch of new nom-worthy yarns. Now that the weather is finally clearing up and WARMING up, I was able to set the twist to all the yarn I've been spinning up during the cold snaps. Pictured to the right it a sproingy, smooshy newbie to the shop I call Blue Hawaiian after the uber yum drink of the same name. Can't wait til I can start getting out into the yard again, being able to lay under a tree in the shade with a good book.

Not sure why, but this winter seemed longer than usual. At least in a few weeks I'll be able to head back out into the yard and get the garden underway again, as well as pull out my canvasses, spinning wheel, and laptops and sit in the fresh air. Ahhh... bliss!